I'm Falling Behind (154)

I was weak today. I ate till 8:30 pm and had a piece of cake. The cake was not even worth it. I think what got me started was that I was baking for visiting teaching. I had to taste it to be sure it was edible. It was my first time making this banana bread recipe and that lead to eating later which included that small piece of cake :D (yes, small piece LOL so rationalizing this). I'm not completely off the wagon. I am righting myself before this gets any worse (crossing legs, arms, eyes, and fingers I am able to right myself LOL). *Big Sigh* Hope we all have a great week... sure hate to see what that scale has in store for me on Friday... Ugh!

Glory be to God on High (155)

Today my cousin and her husband said good-bye to their 3 year old son. I cannot even imagine the pain of having your own child pass away before you, but my cousin and her husband are so strong and the funeral services were very beautiful. It was so wonderful to hear the testimonies shared today that Jesus Christ lives, and that through his Atonement, our good works and faith in Him, our families can be together forever. It was so awesome to see the love and support showered upon this beautiful young family not only from their immediate and extended families, but also from community and ward members too.


At the burial site the rain poured during the blessing of the grave site, but no matter, everyone there was filled with love for this young boy and his family. There were so many people there, family and friends, paying their respect and sharing their love with this lovely family. I could feel Heavenly Father's spirit there blessing those in attendance with comfort and peace. No one seemed to want to leave the burial site, it was as if people were trying to prolong their good-byes with young Rayden.

It was the same at the luncheon after the burial. There was beautiful music shared by Rayden's Uncles and cousins, the food was delicious and served with a lot of love and happiness, and even after the food was served, and the tables and chairs put away, so many people remained behind unwilling to say good-bye to one another. There was such a beautiful feeling of love and support and it touched my soul and filled me with such great joy. I really had a very beautiful comforting peaceful day.

In regards to what happened physically :D I did have a few pieces of cake (I was starving!) and I was so parched after walking around and taking pictures (which I did with much Happiness and Joy LOL), that I had a super sized diet soft drink. I was really craving for some of that refreshing carbonated fizz. :) I did stop eating by 7:30 pm.

Being Late is not Great LOL (156)

I got up late for work today so it was out the door without anything prepared to eat for breakfast or lunch (not recommended). Good thing I grabbed a plate my aunt had me bring home from our Thanksgiving dinner and a bunch of ripe bananas and that held me until I was able to get home this evening and have a good dinner. I ate till 8 pm tonight but I am full and satisfied :) LOLOL I had some hard lichee candy at work to get me by (yes I am so bad! LOL but still working at being better!). In the islands the celebrations don't end until the holidays do :) Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then New Years LOLOL I'm happy though with my progress so today was just okay.

I am Thankful for My Aiga :D (157)

I called my parents and brother to wish them all a "Happy Thanksgiving," it was nice to hear their voices and to talk with them on the phone (thank the Lord for technology!). And for the first time in my life I actually watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, it was awesome!

I had thought I was going to have a quiet to myself Thanksgiving this year, but I was wrong. Earlier in the week, I had received a call from my cousin Tui who lives in Waianae, inviting me over for a family gathering. I hadn't seen many of my family on my dad's side in over a decade. Others I met there I hadn't seen in at least two decades. It was a real treat to renew family bonds with them and to be introduced to the younger generation cousins. The Thanksgiving celebration was even more special because two aunties who are elders of the family almost passed away this past September. It was a blessing to be able to celebrate this day of gratitude with them.

I have so much joy in my heart for the opportunity I had to be with my dad's family. My parents are in American Samoa, my brother and his family are in Utah, and my sister had to work. It was a blessing to bond with family members who I rarely if ever see. We played games, were serenaded by Uncle Tuiava and cousin Felise, and had the best Samoan food and the most scrumptious desserts, hey, it was Thanksgiving! :D I am now back to my routine I have been working at. I did stop eating at 7:30 pm :D but I drank a lot of juice, I was so thirsty! LOLOL And did I mention there was wonderful tasty food? Heh heh heh... It was a feast and all of it shared with lots and lots of LOVE! I know that Love was the special ingredient that put the celebration ratings over the top! :D

Here are some pictures of my wonderful family and some of the great food we got to chow. I didn't even get to eat everything that was there... there was just too much food and no moah enuf room! :P Phew! :) Hope you all had as happy and wonderful a Thanksgiving as I did.

Another Successful Day (158)

I was so anxious to weigh myself today because of the Thanksgiving holidays. I wasn't sure if the clinic where I weigh myself would be open on Friday so I decided to weigh in today just in case ( I couldn't wait until Dec 1 ). I am so excited that I did. I lost 6 more pounds! Today is the tenth day and I have lost a total of 12 pounds. I know weighing in can be "iffy," but just seeing those numbers really boosts my spirit and makes being hungry in the evenings worth it. :D I am going to work really hard at not overeating tomorrow :) Today was another good day.

Something Fun I got off of Liz's blog :D

My very own flickr mosaic :)




Concept:

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.

http://www.flickr.com/search/

2. Using only the first page, pick an image.

3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php

(choose four columns and three rows, also choose individual URL's)

Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your nickname.

Thanks Liz, for this fun activity. :D

An All Consuming Struggle LOL ... (159)

When I decided I wanted to be fabulous at 40, I did not want my blogging to be all about weight loss. Unfortunately, when it comes down to writing, that is all that has been on my mind :D The battle of... "To Eat? or, Not To Eat?" those are the questions. LOL To be honest, the cravings have not lessened, but my will power and resolve not to eat after 7:30 pm has grown stronger. Last night, again I was struggling with the cravings. Bad habits are so hard to break. You know you have it bad when roasted, chocolate covered, and barbecued "June bugs" from Maine have you drooling LOL (Yes I was watching Bizarre Foods LOL), but I believe that as I continue to resist and not break that rule of not eating after 7:30 pm, I will nurture and develop a very good, strong, and desireable habit :D

Yes, I am still going strong :) and I do need to work at drinking more water and less milk.

Resistance... Chihoo! (160)

Forward. :D

I'm Still Resisting! :) (161)

I just wanted to document my progress :D I'm not doing too bad. I'm still resisting. Still not eating past 7:30 pm. I just turned down rice crispy treats, oreo cookies, and blow pops. I am though having a glass of chocolate milk :D

Still Going Strong :) (162)

Today was a good day with no candy or sweets and no eating after 7:30 pm. I even cooked shoyu chicken (I make a mean shoyu chicken) and rice late into the evening and I was able to resist. I'm proud about that. It helped, of course, that I had eaten earlier and was filled. I am happy with today.

Woohoo! Good News! (163)

Getting off work late is SUPER exhausting! I am so pooped! But I wanted to get on and share my good news for today. I actually weighed myself last Friday before I committed to being super fabulous at 40. I went in to weigh myself today before work and I have lost 6 pounds! :D I totally felt super excited and that all my suffering this past week was worth it! :) Anyways... Thanks everyone for your support and good advice. I appreciate it. I hope I do as good on Dec 1 when I go weigh in again. Except for a handful of individually wrapped hard lichee candy, I am still keeping my commitments. Resisting something sweet is so difficult! All in all today definitely was a good day.

Lunch with Lizzie :) (164)

Today has been such an emotional day. For once in I don't know how long LOL I actually followed through with a friend and we lunched together as planned. It took us a few months :) since we had originally said, "We should go out to lunch sometime," on June 30, 2008 :D (I remember cause it was enrichment night and Liz was one of our guest speakers), and I am glad we actually did it. We met up at Chili's in Mililani at about 12:30 pm and we didn't leave until 4:10 pm and yes we both talked the whole time! Or maybe I did most of the talking :D

Liz Kaili is just one of those people you meet in your life that you feel you can trust and be open with. I have always felt at home with her and as our friendship has grown I have been able to share my thoughts with her openly. I know she is not perfect, and has her own personal issues to deal with in her life as we all do, but she is always willing to reach out and be supportive of and listen to others. We had a good lunch. Neither of us ordered dessert cause we were both so full, and we both drank water so that was pretty good too.

After our awesome lunch I went to pick up my sister from work only to find that she had left a few hours earlier with a close friend whose father had just passed away. I rushed over to Tripler Army Medical Center and caught them just as they were leaving. I got to meet our friend's niece and gave her a ride to our friend's home. On our way out of the hospital parking lot we decided, my friend's niece and I, that the family needed a nice treat, a pick-me-upper to enjoy together in memory of "Pops." We chose to buy vanilla ice-cream, chocolate fudge cake, and some "Liliha Bakery Chantilly Cocoa Puffs."

Yes, today was not such a good day. I didn't feel pressure to eat the cocoa puffs (I had 2 :( ) but socially, dare I say even culturally, I felt I needed to eat not only cause I was tempted and I knew it would taste good LOL, but also to appreciate the gesture. I don't know if that makes any sense or not but I feel that is a lot of what it was.

I was bad, but I actually wasn't too bad (rationalizing LOL). Though my meal was a bit rich (meaning high in fat and calories) I didn't eat all of my lunch, I did eat two cocoa puffs, ate until 8 pm, and had a tall glass of lemonade and milk (very tall LOL...*Sigh*). I will never give up, never surrender! I am still in this fight to the end! I weigh myself tomorrow..Yikes! .... (Don't worry, I am too shy to share it on my blog LOLOL)

Savoring a Tall Glass of Cold Milk :P (165)

Got home at midnight and just sat back savoring a nice tall glass of cold milk while contemplating my day. :D It was a good day. I am still resisting LOLOL and I don't think its going to get any easier, but I am working at it. During the ride home I was feeling very ravenous. I don't know why it is, but after work I just want to grind big time. I think it is just part of my old pattern of eating cause that's what I would do, come home and either stop along the way and eat fast food, or get home and have a big meal.

I am trying my best to put those "grind times" behind me. Today is actually the third day I got up and prepared my meal before work. Usually I'll stop and buy something for lunch which would lead to buying a lot of other unnecessary stuff (junks LOL). Now, I am just trying to stay away from eating things made any place else but home, unless its some kind of event or a meal out with a friend ;)

I have to say blogging my thoughts really helps me to keep focused. When I feel like giving in I think about the little progress I have made and I don't want to take any steps back. I just want to be strong and move forward!

Census Bureau Testing... (166)

Yea!!! I made it to the 1:00 pm test session :) you know... the one at 10:00 am was just too early for me. It didn't help that I had to do laundry. When my laundry was done I rushed down to Hauula Kam Hwy chapel smelling fresh and clean and made it just as the facilitator was starting the application process. The test wasn't so bad, but I haven't taken a test in eons and I felt a little pressured. :) I did okay and will wait to see if I get called.

The facilitator is actually the manager of the census here in Hawaii and he was pretty cool. He told us that all across the island there has been small turn outs to the testing sessions, so when coming to Hauula he decided to forgo the maybe 2 or 3 test assistants that usually accompany the facilitator. It was a big mistake because he had a big turn out here on our side. Poor guy had to pass everything out, gather them back in, and then pass more sheets out again. There was a lot to go over and I totally felt for him cause he had to jump from table to table and there were quite a few of us and lots more earlier and after our group. I was actually surprised at the turn out, there were lots of friends and community members from Laie and Kahuku in attendance as well. It's a funny thought to think of the census force being comprised of the latter day saints of Hawaii (Laie, Kahuku, and Hauula) :) going house to house counting the people of our state.

The application process and testing actually took about two hours. It took a while because there was only one man checking and verifying everyones identification, otherwise it would have been a quicker process. I am glad I was able to get off of work to try out for the census jobs. Depending on what the job is a person can make anywhere between $15 - $18.50 and its only temporary for anywhere between 1 to 18 months.

Well, another day has passed and I have been able to stay away from sweets and junk food. I cannot remember what time I stopped eating yesterday evening. It was probably around 8 pm. I am, however, committing myself today to not eat past 7:30 pm daily, except for special gatherings ;) I feel good about myself. Two good days and more to come.

Yawns... (167)

I didn't get out of work until midnight. When we got out Puni had a message on her phone that one of our closest friend's father was admitted to the hospital (it doesn't look like he is going to make it) and she really needed some company. It was good to visit with her. We left her home at 1:30 am and didn't get home till 2:40 am. I checked my email and had to be sure to respond to a couple of emails that could not wait. I checked onto to facebook to take care of my virtual fish and flowers :D And now I am here writing on my blog.

It's 3:45 am and I have a test I want to take for the Census Bureau tomorrow morning at 10 am at the makai Hauula Chapel, and after that I am off to work from 1 pm to 9:30 pm, but I wanted to be sure to list something I did today, one thing that helps me to meet my goal of being Super Fabulous at 40.

Today I abstained from eating chocolate, chips, and junk. I drank water and although I am wanting to gorge myself at this moment with food because this late at night I get major munchies, I am refraining. I will eat tomorrow morning (in about 3 hrs) when I get up. :D One day at a time. I am too brain tired to say more. Goodnight.

Super Fabulous at 40 :D (168)

The point is, I'm not super fabulous, I'm almost forty, and I want to be. I want to be physically super fabulous. Spiritually, I am a work in progress, and am happy to an extent with who I am because I know I can always improve, through Jesus Christ, I can win spiritually. Physically, I am just about hopeless. I say just about because I really do have hope in Christ that I can be super fabulous :D ("Yes I Can!") I just don't know how I am going to get to that stage in my life where I am satisfied with my fabulousness ;) but I am willing to experiment and work it, and with the help of Christ, I can do it! :)

What does it mean to be "Super Fabulous?" Hmmm... let me bust out my Doctrine and Covenants Section 89. :) I want to have health in my navel and marrow to my bones. I want to find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures. I want to run and not be weary. I want to walk and not faint. Having these promised blessings if I follow the Word of Wisdom is part of being super fabulous, the other part is feeling and believing for myself that I am, this is the hardest part. I have grown up overweight and psychologically this is how I have always seen myself and continue to see myself. I have to work really hard at changing my self image.

I'm taking a blog cue from my friend Ipo. I don't want my blog to be a weightloss blog. And I am not so brave as she is to write down my actual body measurements, but starting today I will do something, at least one thing each day to improve my health and self image. I cannot believe that in exactly 168 days I will be 40. I don't feel 40, but I will be and I really want to enjoy that day. I want to celebrate who I am... the real me, and do something fun and adventuresome. I will too, but I want to be able to fully enjoy the moment. I want to be able to do things that at the moment I can't. So starting today I am counting down to my 4oth birthday.

Wish me luck. I am going to need it.

Tagged

1. Link this post to the person who tagged you: Ipo
2. Post the rules on your blog (SEE!)
3. List 6 random things about yourself.
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Wow, so this is what being tagged feels like :) .... blank! LOLOL I'm drawing a total blank here, cause I'm not one who freely shares of myself especially publicly. On top of that, I only know of like four other bloggers and Ipo and Rita are two of them so I'm short like four people to tag. But being the wonderful brave and courageous soul that I am, :D I will press forward and persevere. I will go against the four odds and just invite... I mean tag :D two others :D

1. What to say, what to say about myself? I'm repeating myself so that I can take up some blog space here :D Seriously though, I was born in 1969 and according to the Chinese Zodiak I am born under the sign of the Rooster. When I first read that, I thought to myself... rooster? I am such a scaredy cat so it fit :) but what I was really truly hoping for was the powerful and most lucky sign of... the dragon or... the tiger :D (Rarrr!)... not the rooster! (Bahgock!) And if I was to be born under the sign of a smaller animal, why not the cute bunny? ;) Shhh! Don't tell my sister! (She's a bunny and being a rooster I will never live this comment down! :D ) At least I wasn't born under the sign of the "dirty" rat! :) Shhh! Don't tell my brother! He might feel bad! :( Nah, I'm sure being born under that sign has it's perks (yeah right! :D ) Anyways!

2. I don't believe in stuff being written in the stars and zodiak mumbo jumbo, I just think its fun to read about once in a while and what I find is that although I don't believe in it, some of the attributes of one born under the sign of the Rooster (Yes, capital R for the Rooster here!) are very similar to me. One of which is that Roosters are very "observant" people. I mention this because whenever I watch a movie in a theater or on television or even as I watch commercials I will always find the Rooster in the background! LOLOL SERIOUSLY! I know I kill my sister with these observations, but Roosters are EVERYWHERE! :D If you ever notice, and without my brilliant powers of observation I think it will be hard ;) , but on movie sets and commercials there is usually always a Rooster statue somewhere in the background. We have DVR so I will literally rewind the movie or commercial and off handedly ask my sister... "Puni, did you see that?" and she's like, "What?" So she will focus with me on the replay and I will say, "What's that in the background?" Heh heh heh. ;) And then she see's that awesome wonderful shape and knows... who the master of the bunny is! LOLOL "Silly rabbit!" Tricks are for Roosters! :) It's all in fun. We have a Rooster vs. rabbit rivalry onscreen and you guessed it... the Rooster is winning! LOLOL

3. I'm amazed. I really didn't think I would have much to say about myself, but somehow its all pouring out of me. LOLOL Let me see... My passion in life is making movies. I havent made one yet, but I have done television programs on our local community television channels. I actually worked for community television for about four years before resigning and changing jobs. I love production and my goal in life is to make at least one awesome movie. I can do it! Yes I can! :D

4. I resigned from my community television job that I loved to pursue another passion of mine which is linked to the first :D yes... I am very passionate! LOLOL I now work in the travel industry as a reservations agent for a major airline. Maybe you have talked to me? When making travel arrangements for your family or business? And yes I was that super agent that assisted your every need with a wonderful smile in my voice :D Yup yup yup! That is me! Super Agent! ;) Getting back to my other passion :) ... I love to travel. I wanted to see the world with my own two eyes. I didn't want someone else to define it for me. I know people don't do that on purpose, but every image we see whether it is in books, magazines, television, or on the movie screen, is someone elses perspective. I know I won't get to see the whole of the earth on my own, but the more of it I see the better and I think as a filmmaker that is important. It makes my own images authentic to who I am and what I feel.

5. So serious yeah? :D That is another Rooster characteristic of mine. I actually like being serious. I can laugh and joke, but when I need to be, I can be serious. The serious side of me helps me to be focused and zoom in on my goals.

6. I am grateful. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who sent his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to atone for my sins. I am thankful to my elder brother Jesus for his atonement so that I can someday return home to our Father. I am thankful for the Holy Ghost who ever guides and directs me to do what is right. And I am so thankful for my wonderful family here on earth, who love support cherish and protect me in all that I do.

I cannot believe that I thought I would have trouble listing 6 random things about myself. :) I actually enjoyed this little exercise! I now choose ;) to tag LOLOL... Liz and Amanda.

P.S. I went to tell Liz she is tagged and I ran into Leslie. Leslie you are tagged too! LOLOL Yee Haw! I am beating the odds already and its only been seconds since I posted this! I feel GOOD!

I also tag Debbie! Yea Debbie! I forgot I knew you as a blogger because I was unable to follow your blog. (it's only been a few minutes and the odds are now stacked in my favor! ;) )

Where is a cop when you need one? :D

A couple of nights ago my sister and I were driving home from work and talking about how our evening had gone. As we passed Haiku Rd I saw a cop waiting on traffic as if he would be following in our direction. We stopped at the red light right after the Temple Valley intersection and seconds later we were rear ended. Our conversation stopped mid sentence and I looked up to see that the light was still red. My sister and I looked at each other like, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe we just got hit!" I'm thinking, "I hope that cop I saw is nearby," and I was also hoping nothing was wrong with the car.

With nothing else to do we both jumped out of the car to find that we were rear ended by that same police car I had seen on Haiku Rd.... bad brakes. The officer had gone back to his car for paper to give us his information. I saw a license plate lying on the road and reached down to pick it up and the officer is like... "Oh, uh, that's mine." He proceeds to ask if anything is wrong with our car, and of course I hem and haw and point out a couple of "small kine" scratches :D then he asks if either one of us is hurt and I'm like reaching for my neck like I had been whip lashed :D I thought it was really funny that we had been rear ended by a police officer, and I was just trying to joke with the officer to make him feel at ease. I also thought it was funny that he didn't give himself a ticket :D

Thankfully we were fine, able to drive off on our own, and outwardly the vehicle is fine too. We still need to take it in for servicing and at that time we can see if anything was really thrown out of whack.