Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Bad Weather and Travel Waivers Up the Wazoo!

I cannot believe how horrible the weather has been since last week Monday. There is a travel waiver in effect for the midwest, then a waiver for the northeast, and now a waiver for the west coast. Harsh winter storms are blowing in from everywhere and these travel waivers are constantly being extended as the bad weather worsens. Its been so bad that we have been slammed with overtime to meet the travel needs of our customers. I am thankful for overtime, but I feel so badly for these poor people stuck mid destination during the Christmas holiday season in this severe cold weather. Many have been stuck for days upon days at airports throughout our country. As bundled images of passengers huddled together at terminals flit across television news screens, I cannot help but feel tremendously grateful that I live in warm Hawaii with a job and a roof over my head. I am heading off to work to assist more traveling people in need! Pacific Woman to the rescue! LOLOL... Lord, please give me the strength, empathy, and patience I need to be of service to them all.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Silent Infiltration HIFF 2003 (short film)

Uploaded by sianajb

The opening aerial and outer island shots were purchased stock footage courtesy of Pacific Focus.
Every other shot is mine :) The music and chanting at the beginning are the Tovey family from Laie. The woman chanting is Kura Tovey. The Tovey family Dave, Kura, Peter and Jonathan were so cool and awesome to go out of their way to help me realize my vision. I wanted the music to be representative of the Pacific so there are drum beats and chants from various Pacific cultures. It was recorded by a dear friend, Kekoa Ahuna. Making this short was a LOT of FUN.

The short is about a Pacific islander spy who comes from a dysfunctional family. Despite the hardships he faced growing up he becomes one of Hawaii's top spies. Although successful, he is still unhappy. While he is trying to figure things out, someone is trying to kill him.

This is not a Pacific islander trying to figure out his life in a white world, but a Pacific islander living the human experience in a human world. It's not about color but about similar struggles we all face and only when we are willing to slow down and take the time to ponder things out and make some sacrifices can we find true joy and happiness.

The main character's name is Sai after my brother who passed away. His last name is Lent because only when we are "Sai Lent" and ponder things through can we find our way through the help of our Savior. The main girl's name is Alamoni after my great grandmother who was named after the first missionary tract in Samoa. Her name means "true path." The short is meant to be serious and yet fun at the same time LOLOL I hope you all enjoy it.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Clean Sweet Smell of a Wood Burning Fire

About twenty minutes ago on my way home from work, as I passed Hauula Beach Park, I caught a good clean whiff of a wood burning fire. I LOVE that smell! A blur of memories flashed through my mind of girls camp, ward camp, kumbayah, and lovely yummy creamy sticky smores! LOL I just love it! I don't know why I never make the time to go out super late at night and have me a wood burning fire at the beach! LOLOL I have a similar experience when I smell the fire of freshly mown grass and dry dead leaves after a good yard clean-up. Those memories are of family, cleaning, and of good times past with many people who are long gone. As I was driving home I thought about the fire and the smoke. I thought to myself how funny it is that the smoke of a wood burning fire should smell so clean and sweet and bring such wonderful memories to mind.

Why does sharing food make it all the more delicious?

Have you ever started into a bag of candy, chips, or cookies, and felt guilty that you were not sharing it with some loved one? Or maybe on your way home you stopped by for a value meal at some fast food drive thru and you felt guilty because you did not buy more for others at home? And as you were eating these foods, did they not taste as good as you thought they would?

On the other hand, have you ever taken one small bag of candy, chips, or cookies, or some small value meal and shared it with like six or seven other people, and did that food not taste like the best you have ever had and wished you had more but you were glad that you shared?

Personally, food always taste better for me when its shared. There is less of it LOL but for some reason the food is so much more delicious than if I had kept it to myself. What is the difference? It is the same food, but it seems like the act of sharing enhances it's flavor. The same thing happens when I make food with love. If I make something with all my heart it always seems to come out tasty, but if I just rush right through the recipe because I am pressed for time, it doesn't taste as good. ;)

I specifically remember my grandmother when I was little telling me I always had to give the best food and the best portions to others. I could not eat alone I always had to have enough to share with everyone or not eat at all because that would be very rude. I remember my mother using an apple as a specific example. She said when I halved an apple to share with someone I had to give the other person the bigger and better half. They taught me this by example so when I do anything less I feel so bad and the food definitely loses its savor.

I don't know why, but doing right by food makes it taste so much more wonderful and it brings me great joy. Food and Joy LOLOL I'm still trying to figure out the correlation between the two other than the comfort I get when I eat something I crave. Food within society in general is a touchy subject no matter what culture we are raised in. I think it would make for an interesting topic of study within the Pacific because food is a very important way of expressing ourselves to one another. :)

Thursday, December 18, 2008

My Dream Wasn't Big Enough

In February of 2000 I was bit by the television production bug! It was a big bug and it bit me really hard. All my young life growing up I was always afraid of not finding my life's true passion. After my youngest brother passed away in 1999 I decided that life is too short to play it safe on the sidelines. I got out there and started to try different things hoping to find what I really love to do, and I did. I started taking Olelo Community Television classes on camera, editing, and producing, and I was in HEAVEN! I must say that I had one of the most amazing teachers I have ever had in my entire life, Tom Galli. He is someone I would refer to as master or sinsei. He was just so awesome and easy to learn from and willing to let me think outside the box. He never withheld knowledge from me and even if he didn't know something he would say, "Theoretically that should be possible," and I knew he would help me to find a way to get the effect that I was trying to attain.

As most of you know I am such a gung ho kind of person. I always reach for the moon and as a brand new client of Olelo I did just that. As my "First Works" project I wanted to do something spectacular and awesome. At that time, that meant a wonderful music rap video shot throughout scenic spots on Oahu. I along with my talent, my brother's best friend, worked countless hours on this project. As a first works project it was AWESOME (if I do say so myself LOL). I submitted it to the Ohina Film Festival that year and it was accepted. The Honolulu Advetiser (or Star Bulletin?) had asked the Ohina Film Festival people for a producer to do a feature on while advertising the festival in the TGIF section of the paper and I was selected. I remember that time so well, I was on cloud nine hundred and ninety-nine. :)

That positive experience and countless others at that time sparked in me a desire for more, to do more. I loved what I was doing and I didn't want to lose that feeling. I was actually afraid each day that that feeling of wonder and awe I felt every time I worked on production would go away, but it never did, and it never has. It was then that I had this dream, that one day I would have a movie play at the Dole Cannery Signature Theater and my name would appear in the beginning and at the end in the credits on the big screen. At the time it seemed like a huge and unattainable dream, but I felt that if I believed in myself and did the work and of course prayed really hard to my Heavenly Father for his help, that any thing would be possible.

Fast forward from August 2000 to October 2003. I had gone through a lot to get to this point and with the help of many kind and loving people, especially my family, and especially my sister, I was able to complete a short film about a successful Pacific Islander spy from a dysfunctional home trying to find himself. It made it into the Hawaii International Film Festival (HIFF) 2003 as one of the local shorts. I was ecstatic. I didn't realize until later that one of the screens my short would show on would be at theater 1 at the Dole Cannery Signature Theater.

My dream actually had two parts. The first of course, is that my film would play on the big screen at that particular theater. The second part was that my movie poster would be advertised in a specific spot. Now anyone who was a Dole Cannery Signature Theater lover back in early 2000 would know what awesome movie was coming soon every time he or she stepped out of one of the elevators and made his or her way to the ticket booth. Across the way and facing the elevators was a corner room lined with a glass wall. Whenever there was some hot new movie coming soon the larger than life posters would be advertised on that wall's central panel of glass... yes that is where I wanted my short film movie poster displayed! LOL And yes that is where it was displayed.

While I was mounting my poster up on the center of that glass wall, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of self actualization. I was in the moment of realizing one of my dreams and I was aware of it. It felt so surreal. I just cried. Tears of joy. I was amazed that I was actually doing something I had only dreamed about doing. Albeit it wasn't some national blockbuster and not some full length feature film, but it was a film and it was mine and it was showing on the big screen at Dole Cannery Signature Theater with my movie poster mounted on the center of that glass wall.

When I say my dream wasn't big enough, I meant it. I realized my first dream and then I didn't pursue it to the next level hard enough. Maybe I just didn't dream a second part clear enough and I may have gotten lost on a tangent, but I am glad of where I have been and what I have done because it has made me a better person, and a better filmmaker. I am ready now to dream a bigger dream. And as this year winds down to a close, I am pondering and working on the details of just what that big dream is for me.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

From Funerals to Floods to Bare Butting Pillows :D

Its been a week since my last post. Can we all say the words, "HECTIC, OVERWHELMING, PRESSURED, EXHAUSTING?" Can we also say these words, "LOVE, SERVICE, JOY, FAMILY, HAPPINESS?" There is opposition in all things and if we are patient, have faith in Christ, and endure to the end, all things work out for the best. Sometimes its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I know its there and if I just keep plugging along and believe in Christ, I know He will help me through these trials and in the end I will find peace and joy.

Since last Tuesday I have been baking non-stop every day. From rolls, to cinnamon rolls, to monkey bread, and then this morning pizza crust. We were invited to a family dinner. The economy has been so bad and I haven't been working a full 80 hours so I didn't have any money to buy something to take. I hadn't baked bread in about 8 to 9 years but I had been thinking about it throughout November, so I decided to bake dinner rolls. They were fresh from the oven and we had some real butter to go with them. My cousins really enjoyed them. I was so glad. I decided, that I may not have much money, but I can bake so the next morning my sister and I made cinnamon rolls for the first time. I had actually attempted cinnamon rolls a few years ago, but they were so huge my family called them cinnamon loaves :) My uncle and his family also enjoyed the cinnamon rolls and it felt really good to be able to do something for them.

The roll recipe for the cinnamon rolls was given to my sister by a wonderful sister in our ward who is such a wonderful baker. She is such a super mom and is very inspiring to me. Through her service of sharing that delicious and simple recipe with us we were able to do something within our means to contribute to my uncle and his family during a very hard and trying time in their lives, they had just lost their wife and mother, my aunty, so it felt good to do something for them. Something from the heart with a lot of love. It's funny how gifts of love are magnified. The sister who shared the recipe shared it with love and blessed my life. I shared it with love and I know with all my heart that what my sister and I have baked throughout this week was received with love and gratitude. We also shared the recipe with two of our cousins and one of them baked cinnamon rolls today. It feels so good to share.

Last week Thursday was my Aunty's funeral. It was the same day that all of Laie and the island of Oahu was flooded. That morning the rain poured endlessly from the sky. We had not heard whether or not the funeral was canceled. We had decided to pray to our Heavenly Father for the protection of our home from the flood because we had to go to the funeral. By 8:30 am we were on our way to the Hauula mauka chapel. We got stuck in front of Hauula shopping center for about 2 1/2 hours because a bridge was washed out. When we were finally allowed to cross , we got to the chapel were informed that the funeral was postponed until the next morning. My poor uncle and cousins, I cannot even imagine their stress for aunty. I was also overwhelmed at the outpouring of love I felt at seeing relatives from throughout the island, Maui, and Utah who came to pay their respects to my uncle and his family. No matter how bad the weather was they were there and it felt so beautiful.

We stayed a while at the chapel talking story with our relatives and then went home to see how our home was doing. The Lord truly blessed us because although our house is ground level and deep in flood territory :) we were not flooded. I didn't realize how bad the flood was until I had seen all the photos that others have posted where water was literally waist deep in many places and on Saturday when we drove to the chapel for my cousin's daughter's baptism there were soaked and muddied couches, carpets, and other household items litering peoples driveways in preparation for bulky item trash pick up. It was horrible and I realized how truly truly blessed we are that our home was not flooded.

On Friday morning was my aunty's funeral services, it was beautiful. My cousins had asked my sister and me to sing a couple of songs at the viewing. I was petrified because I do not play the ukulele or piano. We always sing with my mom and she plays :) I now realize everyday how much I take for granted that my mom will always be there with all her talents. I realize I definitely need to learn how to play something :) Since Sunday before the service I had been practicing our songs on my ukulele. My playing was okay (nuff said about that) LOL and my cousins and uncle received it with much love and I was grateful because I am definitely no ukulele virtuoso! :)

The viewing started at 8:30 am and the services and meal ended at 2:30 pm. Because the ground was still too saturated with water the burial was postponed until Monday morning at 10:30 am. I felt so bad for my uncle and his family but they were very strong and the burial on Monday morning was beautiful short sweet and to the point. After the funeral service on Friday I went home, rested for a bit, and then baked cinnamon rolls for our ward party that night at 6:30 pm. The party was awesome, the food ono, and the entertainment lively.

On Saturday morning we baked cinnamon rolls for the baptism. It was a good baptism. And then rested at home for a few minutes before we had to go to work. We didn't get home till after midnight and I still had to make final preparations for my relief society lesson on Sunday. Thank the Lord it went well and that afternoon when I got home I baked cinnamon rolls for those who helped me out with my lesson, and at 5:00 pm went to ward choir practice because we are singing next Sunday for the sacrament meeting Christmas program. We are singing some really beautiful music.

On Monday I tried my hand at monkey bread. It was good, but I prefer cinnamon rolls. We went to the burial service, rushed to Kailua to pay for a bill, and then I ended up calling in to work to get some time off because I was not feeling well. We came home and another one of my cousins came over to pick up some boxes we had been holding for him since April. He just got married and his wife is so cool. We ended up talking story for about 5 hours. Can you believe that? It was a lot of fun.

One of our conversations was about how we used to fight with our siblings. Keywords "used to fight" LOL. We were talking about booger flicking when my cousin's wife brings up bare butting pillows. I'm like, "What the heck is bare butting pillows?" It turns out it is exactly what she said it is, someone putting his or her bare butt on your pillow.... GROSS! I turned to another cousin who had come over earlier and asked her if she and her siblings ever flicked boogers at each other or bare butted pillows and she's like, "No, we just fight for real." I'm like, "Wow, better not mess with your brothers!" LOLOL Then again, bare butting pillows takes the cake (or should I say... cinnamon roll? LOL). I am definitely not messing with THOSE brothers either! LOLOL

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Dill Pickle Flavored Sunflower Seeds (146)

Yes they were on sale! LOL I actually love sunflower seeds, and when I saw these on sale I thought to myself, "How bad can they be?" Baaaad! LOLOL But I am not one to waste money, so I am eating them anyway, and yes I wait till I am really hungry for a snack LOL. The seeds themselves are very plump, nicely roasted, and tasty, but the seasoning on the outside shell of the seeds is not all that great. I suppose it somewhat tastes like pickles. The bag it comes in is the color of pickles LOL (I know... what was I thinking? LOLOL). I just really don't care for the flavoring. I didn't realize sunflower seeds came flavored, when I read the back of the bag there are also chili lime, smoky barbeque, and spicy flavors too. I think from now on I will just stick to the regular old salt roasted kind :D

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Being Realistic (148 & 147)

I know... being realistic is not a lot of fun :) but it gets me right to the point and I am not one to fuss and muss. During this holiday season its not going to be about what I did or did not eat or when. Holiday celebrations are going on every where, and I am going to be a part of it. I want to be a part of it. I am an involved person. I like to be involved and interact with others around me and that means being an active partaker LOL I don't need to add any unnecessary pressure to myself. I do need to be more careful and aware of my daily decisions. I have to work harder. Time waits for no one and my time is quickly running out!

Our single adult service project was a success. We went Christmas caroling and handed out gift baskets to select individuals throughout our stake. It always feels great to do good deeds. It is such a natural high and it makes me want to strive to be a better person.

BEFORE: Happy and Joyful

AFTER: Ecstatic!!!!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Still Focusing on the Positive (149)

Today I had a really relaxing day, which I am thankful for. I did weigh myself and found that I gained 6 lbs back, but on a positive note I did not gain back the full 12 lbs I had lost... Yea!!! Yes that was enough to stop me from eating after 7:30 pm :)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Focusing on the Positive (150)

Pops funeral service was beautiful. Vika's father (Vika is a friend and coworker) played beautiful piano music at the viewing for at least two hours straight. We arrived at the viewing at 10 am and he was already playing and played till 12 noon. I call that love and respect. It set a beautiful tone and added to the wonderful spirit of the viewing, and Pops is definitely worth it. It was really nice to hear the thoughts that everyone shared of Pops. He was a man who strove for excellence and perfection in all that he did. He always gave everything he did 200 % effort and focus. He never settled for anything less. He loved the finer things in life, and he worked hard to attain them. He loves our Heavenly Father and he loves his family. The burial service ended at 2:30 pm.

After the services we had lunch and shopped for baskets for our single adult service project this Saturday December 6, 2008. We are caroling and handing out fruit baskets. It felt good to complete that task and mentally check it off of our list of to dos.

With our shopping done, we headed home at about 4 pm. We shopped at Tamuras for necessities :) (food for our dog), went home, got ready, and at 6 pm attended Kahuku High School's production of The Sound of Music. The parents, high school students, and younger children involved in the play all did a marvelous job. The acting, singing, and props were great, and the whole play took at least three hours (I won't say any more about that LOL cause I'm being positive LOL). Suffice to say that my okole (Hawaiian word for buttocks) was so sore and my back was aching, but it was worth it cause we showed our support to members our ward and community and those moments are important in life too. After the play we left the high school at about 10 pm.

I was planning on picking up hours at work tomorrow, but I think I need a rest. These last three weeks have been so busy. It has definitely been a good busy, a busy that needed doing :) but I will be happy to relax tomorrow. :) Signing off while thinking positively! :)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

My Name is Siana and I am an Emotional Eater... :( (151)

At 7:00 am this morning I received a call from my cousin, one of my aunties has passed away. I am just flabbergasted. It seems like people are passing away way too soon! One right after another and these are not strangers, these people are family friends and people within the community. Earlier this afternoon my sister went to a wake of a dear family friend. He died of old age and we are attending his funeral tomorrow. We just attended a funeral this past Saturday of one of our cousins, and now my other cousins and Uncle are planning the funeral of our auntie. It just feels so unreal. Time is going by too fast and I am too slow to change and do what I need to do to live a healthier life.

Today I ate breakfast, lunch, and I also had a snack prepared for dinner, but after work I was STARVING! I just had to eat a jumbo jack and chicken sandwich. I came home and had some sunflower seeds. I was thinking to myself during the ending part of my shift and all the way home, "Why am I starving? I've eaten less before and been more than satisfied." I was wondering if it was because I might be feeling so emotional about everything that is going on, then I got home and read Liz's last comment. I have always thought I was an emotional eater, and today I actually felt like one. It doesn't help either that it is the Christmas holidays. I am going to really be wrestling with myself for the next few days.... Big Time! :(

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Downward Spiral (152)

Today started out really good. I got up, made my oatmeal, I even ate a good dinner, but when my sister came home at 9 pm with a plate of cake (I knew I should not eat), I put the cake in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed (the whole plate of cake). I don't know whats wrong with me. I ate it knowing full well I shouldn't, but I still did. It's like I am compelling myself to fail. So sad! I don't know why, but I defeat myself all time. :(

Monday, December 1, 2008

One More Day Closer to My Goal :D (153)

Got up at 3:30 am, quickly got ready for work, and rushed out the door. Yes, I did not prepare again! Ugh! I did okay, but I was hungry, so when a friend came by and offered butter and chocolate mochi... I capitulated! LOL I laugh but really I am crying inside :( I stopped eating at 7:30 pm but forgot like at 9:00 pm and had eaten two handfuls of buttered popcorn. I just got home from work minutes ago, and I still feel like I am doing okay. I resisted a delicious roll of Rolo's yummy chocolate covered caramels... Ohhh how I wish I could have eaten those :) but I didn't :) And right outside my bedroom fudge brownies and pumpkin mochi lie in wait! Ughhh! LOL I am resisting!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

I'm Falling Behind (154)

I was weak today. I ate till 8:30 pm and had a piece of cake. The cake was not even worth it. I think what got me started was that I was baking for visiting teaching. I had to taste it to be sure it was edible. It was my first time making this banana bread recipe and that lead to eating later which included that small piece of cake :D (yes, small piece LOL so rationalizing this). I'm not completely off the wagon. I am righting myself before this gets any worse (crossing legs, arms, eyes, and fingers I am able to right myself LOL). *Big Sigh* Hope we all have a great week... sure hate to see what that scale has in store for me on Friday... Ugh!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Glory be to God on High (155)

Today my cousin and her husband said good-bye to their 3 year old son. I cannot even imagine the pain of having your own child pass away before you, but my cousin and her husband are so strong and the funeral services were very beautiful. It was so wonderful to hear the testimonies shared today that Jesus Christ lives, and that through his Atonement, our good works and faith in Him, our families can be together forever. It was so awesome to see the love and support showered upon this beautiful young family not only from their immediate and extended families, but also from community and ward members too.

At the burial site the rain poured during the blessing of the grave site, but no matter, everyone there was filled with love for this young boy and his family. There were so many people there, family and friends, paying their respect and sharing their love with this lovely family. I could feel Heavenly Father's spirit there blessing those in attendance with comfort and peace. No one seemed to want to leave the burial site, it was as if people were trying to prolong their good-byes with young Rayden.

It was the same at the luncheon after the burial. There was beautiful music shared by Rayden's Uncles and cousins, the food was delicious and served with a lot of love and happiness, and even after the food was served, and the tables and chairs put away, so many people remained behind unwilling to say good-bye to one another. There was such a beautiful feeling of love and support and it touched my soul and filled me with such great joy. I really had a very beautiful comforting peaceful day.

In regards to what happened physically :D I did have a few pieces of cake (I was starving!) and I was so parched after walking around and taking pictures (which I did with much Happiness and Joy LOL), that I had a super sized diet soft drink. I was really craving for some of that refreshing carbonated fizz. :) I did stop eating by 7:30 pm.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Being Late is not Great LOL (156)

I got up late for work today so it was out the door without anything prepared to eat for breakfast or lunch (not recommended). Good thing I grabbed a plate my aunt had me bring home from our Thanksgiving dinner and a bunch of ripe bananas and that held me until I was able to get home this evening and have a good dinner. I ate till 8 pm tonight but I am full and satisfied :) LOLOL I had some hard lichee candy at work to get me by (yes I am so bad! LOL but still working at being better!). In the islands the celebrations don't end until the holidays do :) Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then New Years LOLOL I'm happy though with my progress so today was just okay.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I am Thankful for My Aiga :D (157)

I called my parents and brother to wish them all a "Happy Thanksgiving," it was nice to hear their voices and to talk with them on the phone (thank the Lord for technology!). And for the first time in my life I actually watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, it was awesome!

I had thought I was going to have a quiet to myself Thanksgiving this year, but I was wrong. Earlier in the week, I had received a call from my cousin Tui who lives in Waianae, inviting me over for a family gathering. I hadn't seen many of my family on my dad's side in over a decade. Others I met there I hadn't seen in at least two decades. It was a real treat to renew family bonds with them and to be introduced to the younger generation cousins. The Thanksgiving celebration was even more special because two aunties who are elders of the family almost passed away this past September. It was a blessing to be able to celebrate this day of gratitude with them.

I have so much joy in my heart for the opportunity I had to be with my dad's family. My parents are in American Samoa, my brother and his family are in Utah, and my sister had to work. It was a blessing to bond with family members who I rarely if ever see. We played games, were serenaded by Uncle Tuiava and cousin Felise, and had the best Samoan food and the most scrumptious desserts, hey, it was Thanksgiving! :D I am now back to my routine I have been working at. I did stop eating at 7:30 pm :D but I drank a lot of juice, I was so thirsty! LOLOL And did I mention there was wonderful tasty food? Heh heh heh... It was a feast and all of it shared with lots and lots of LOVE! I know that Love was the special ingredient that put the celebration ratings over the top! :D

Here are some pictures of my wonderful family and some of the great food we got to chow. I didn't even get to eat everything that was there... there was just too much food and no moah enuf room! :P Phew! :) Hope you all had as happy and wonderful a Thanksgiving as I did.

Another Successful Day (158)

I was so anxious to weigh myself today because of the Thanksgiving holidays. I wasn't sure if the clinic where I weigh myself would be open on Friday so I decided to weigh in today just in case ( I couldn't wait until Dec 1 ). I am so excited that I did. I lost 6 more pounds! Today is the tenth day and I have lost a total of 12 pounds. I know weighing in can be "iffy," but just seeing those numbers really boosts my spirit and makes being hungry in the evenings worth it. :D I am going to work really hard at not overeating tomorrow :) Today was another good day.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Something Fun I got off of Liz's blog :D

My very own flickr mosaic :)


1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.


2. Using only the first page, pick an image.

3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.


(choose four columns and three rows, also choose individual URL's)


1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your nickname.

Thanks Liz, for this fun activity. :D

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

An All Consuming Struggle LOL ... (159)

When I decided I wanted to be fabulous at 40, I did not want my blogging to be all about weight loss. Unfortunately, when it comes down to writing, that is all that has been on my mind :D The battle of... "To Eat? or, Not To Eat?" those are the questions. LOL To be honest, the cravings have not lessened, but my will power and resolve not to eat after 7:30 pm has grown stronger. Last night, again I was struggling with the cravings. Bad habits are so hard to break. You know you have it bad when roasted, chocolate covered, and barbecued "June bugs" from Maine have you drooling LOL (Yes I was watching Bizarre Foods LOL), but I believe that as I continue to resist and not break that rule of not eating after 7:30 pm, I will nurture and develop a very good, strong, and desireable habit :D

Yes, I am still going strong :) and I do need to work at drinking more water and less milk.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I'm Still Resisting! :) (161)

I just wanted to document my progress :D I'm not doing too bad. I'm still resisting. Still not eating past 7:30 pm. I just turned down rice crispy treats, oreo cookies, and blow pops. I am though having a glass of chocolate milk :D

Still Going Strong :) (162)

Today was a good day with no candy or sweets and no eating after 7:30 pm. I even cooked shoyu chicken (I make a mean shoyu chicken) and rice late into the evening and I was able to resist. I'm proud about that. It helped, of course, that I had eaten earlier and was filled. I am happy with today.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Woohoo! Good News! (163)

Getting off work late is SUPER exhausting! I am so pooped! But I wanted to get on and share my good news for today. I actually weighed myself last Friday before I committed to being super fabulous at 40. I went in to weigh myself today before work and I have lost 6 pounds! :D I totally felt super excited and that all my suffering this past week was worth it! :) Anyways... Thanks everyone for your support and good advice. I appreciate it. I hope I do as good on Dec 1 when I go weigh in again. Except for a handful of individually wrapped hard lichee candy, I am still keeping my commitments. Resisting something sweet is so difficult! All in all today definitely was a good day.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lunch with Lizzie :) (164)

Today has been such an emotional day. For once in I don't know how long LOL I actually followed through with a friend and we lunched together as planned. It took us a few months :) since we had originally said, "We should go out to lunch sometime," on June 30, 2008 :D (I remember cause it was enrichment night and Liz was one of our guest speakers), and I am glad we actually did it. We met up at Chili's in Mililani at about 12:30 pm and we didn't leave until 4:10 pm and yes we both talked the whole time! Or maybe I did most of the talking :D

Liz Kaili is just one of those people you meet in your life that you feel you can trust and be open with. I have always felt at home with her and as our friendship has grown I have been able to share my thoughts with her openly. I know she is not perfect, and has her own personal issues to deal with in her life as we all do, but she is always willing to reach out and be supportive of and listen to others. We had a good lunch. Neither of us ordered dessert cause we were both so full, and we both drank water so that was pretty good too.

After our awesome lunch I went to pick up my sister from work only to find that she had left a few hours earlier with a close friend whose father had just passed away. I rushed over to Tripler Army Medical Center and caught them just as they were leaving. I got to meet our friend's niece and gave her a ride to our friend's home. On our way out of the hospital parking lot we decided, my friend's niece and I, that the family needed a nice treat, a pick-me-upper to enjoy together in memory of "Pops." We chose to buy vanilla ice-cream, chocolate fudge cake, and some "Liliha Bakery Chantilly Cocoa Puffs."

Yes, today was not such a good day. I didn't feel pressure to eat the cocoa puffs (I had 2 :( ) but socially, dare I say even culturally, I felt I needed to eat not only cause I was tempted and I knew it would taste good LOL, but also to appreciate the gesture. I don't know if that makes any sense or not but I feel that is a lot of what it was.

I was bad, but I actually wasn't too bad (rationalizing LOL). Though my meal was a bit rich (meaning high in fat and calories) I didn't eat all of my lunch, I did eat two cocoa puffs, ate until 8 pm, and had a tall glass of lemonade and milk (very tall LOL...*Sigh*). I will never give up, never surrender! I am still in this fight to the end! I weigh myself tomorrow..Yikes! .... (Don't worry, I am too shy to share it on my blog LOLOL)

Savoring a Tall Glass of Cold Milk :P (165)

Got home at midnight and just sat back savoring a nice tall glass of cold milk while contemplating my day. :D It was a good day. I am still resisting LOLOL and I don't think its going to get any easier, but I am working at it. During the ride home I was feeling very ravenous. I don't know why it is, but after work I just want to grind big time. I think it is just part of my old pattern of eating cause that's what I would do, come home and either stop along the way and eat fast food, or get home and have a big meal.

I am trying my best to put those "grind times" behind me. Today is actually the third day I got up and prepared my meal before work. Usually I'll stop and buy something for lunch which would lead to buying a lot of other unnecessary stuff (junks LOL). Now, I am just trying to stay away from eating things made any place else but home, unless its some kind of event or a meal out with a friend ;)

I have to say blogging my thoughts really helps me to keep focused. When I feel like giving in I think about the little progress I have made and I don't want to take any steps back. I just want to be strong and move forward!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Census Bureau Testing... (166)

Yea!!! I made it to the 1:00 pm test session :) you know... the one at 10:00 am was just too early for me. It didn't help that I had to do laundry. When my laundry was done I rushed down to Hauula Kam Hwy chapel smelling fresh and clean and made it just as the facilitator was starting the application process. The test wasn't so bad, but I haven't taken a test in eons and I felt a little pressured. :) I did okay and will wait to see if I get called.

The facilitator is actually the manager of the census here in Hawaii and he was pretty cool. He told us that all across the island there has been small turn outs to the testing sessions, so when coming to Hauula he decided to forgo the maybe 2 or 3 test assistants that usually accompany the facilitator. It was a big mistake because he had a big turn out here on our side. Poor guy had to pass everything out, gather them back in, and then pass more sheets out again. There was a lot to go over and I totally felt for him cause he had to jump from table to table and there were quite a few of us and lots more earlier and after our group. I was actually surprised at the turn out, there were lots of friends and community members from Laie and Kahuku in attendance as well. It's a funny thought to think of the census force being comprised of the latter day saints of Hawaii (Laie, Kahuku, and Hauula) :) going house to house counting the people of our state.

The application process and testing actually took about two hours. It took a while because there was only one man checking and verifying everyones identification, otherwise it would have been a quicker process. I am glad I was able to get off of work to try out for the census jobs. Depending on what the job is a person can make anywhere between $15 - $18.50 and its only temporary for anywhere between 1 to 18 months.

Well, another day has passed and I have been able to stay away from sweets and junk food. I cannot remember what time I stopped eating yesterday evening. It was probably around 8 pm. I am, however, committing myself today to not eat past 7:30 pm daily, except for special gatherings ;) I feel good about myself. Two good days and more to come.

Yawns... (167)

I didn't get out of work until midnight. When we got out Puni had a message on her phone that one of our closest friend's father was admitted to the hospital (it doesn't look like he is going to make it) and she really needed some company. It was good to visit with her. We left her home at 1:30 am and didn't get home till 2:40 am. I checked my email and had to be sure to respond to a couple of emails that could not wait. I checked onto to facebook to take care of my virtual fish and flowers :D And now I am here writing on my blog.

It's 3:45 am and I have a test I want to take for the Census Bureau tomorrow morning at 10 am at the makai Hauula Chapel, and after that I am off to work from 1 pm to 9:30 pm, but I wanted to be sure to list something I did today, one thing that helps me to meet my goal of being Super Fabulous at 40.

Today I abstained from eating chocolate, chips, and junk. I drank water and although I am wanting to gorge myself at this moment with food because this late at night I get major munchies, I am refraining. I will eat tomorrow morning (in about 3 hrs) when I get up. :D One day at a time. I am too brain tired to say more. Goodnight.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Super Fabulous at 40 :D (168)

The point is, I'm not super fabulous, I'm almost forty, and I want to be. I want to be physically super fabulous. Spiritually, I am a work in progress, and am happy to an extent with who I am because I know I can always improve, through Jesus Christ, I can win spiritually. Physically, I am just about hopeless. I say just about because I really do have hope in Christ that I can be super fabulous :D ("Yes I Can!") I just don't know how I am going to get to that stage in my life where I am satisfied with my fabulousness ;) but I am willing to experiment and work it, and with the help of Christ, I can do it! :)

What does it mean to be "Super Fabulous?" Hmmm... let me bust out my Doctrine and Covenants Section 89. :) I want to have health in my navel and marrow to my bones. I want to find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures. I want to run and not be weary. I want to walk and not faint. Having these promised blessings if I follow the Word of Wisdom is part of being super fabulous, the other part is feeling and believing for myself that I am, this is the hardest part. I have grown up overweight and psychologically this is how I have always seen myself and continue to see myself. I have to work really hard at changing my self image.

I'm taking a blog cue from my friend Ipo. I don't want my blog to be a weightloss blog. And I am not so brave as she is to write down my actual body measurements, but starting today I will do something, at least one thing each day to improve my health and self image. I cannot believe that in exactly 168 days I will be 40. I don't feel 40, but I will be and I really want to enjoy that day. I want to celebrate who I am... the real me, and do something fun and adventuresome. I will too, but I want to be able to fully enjoy the moment. I want to be able to do things that at the moment I can't. So starting today I am counting down to my 4oth birthday.

Wish me luck. I am going to need it.


1. Link this post to the person who tagged you: Ipo
2. Post the rules on your blog (SEE!)
3. List 6 random things about yourself.
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Wow, so this is what being tagged feels like :) .... blank! LOLOL I'm drawing a total blank here, cause I'm not one who freely shares of myself especially publicly. On top of that, I only know of like four other bloggers and Ipo and Rita are two of them so I'm short like four people to tag. But being the wonderful brave and courageous soul that I am, :D I will press forward and persevere. I will go against the four odds and just invite... I mean tag :D two others :D

1. What to say, what to say about myself? I'm repeating myself so that I can take up some blog space here :D Seriously though, I was born in 1969 and according to the Chinese Zodiak I am born under the sign of the Rooster. When I first read that, I thought to myself... rooster? I am such a scaredy cat so it fit :) but what I was really truly hoping for was the powerful and most lucky sign of... the dragon or... the tiger :D (Rarrr!)... not the rooster! (Bahgock!) And if I was to be born under the sign of a smaller animal, why not the cute bunny? ;) Shhh! Don't tell my sister! (She's a bunny and being a rooster I will never live this comment down! :D ) At least I wasn't born under the sign of the "dirty" rat! :) Shhh! Don't tell my brother! He might feel bad! :( Nah, I'm sure being born under that sign has it's perks (yeah right! :D ) Anyways!

2. I don't believe in stuff being written in the stars and zodiak mumbo jumbo, I just think its fun to read about once in a while and what I find is that although I don't believe in it, some of the attributes of one born under the sign of the Rooster (Yes, capital R for the Rooster here!) are very similar to me. One of which is that Roosters are very "observant" people. I mention this because whenever I watch a movie in a theater or on television or even as I watch commercials I will always find the Rooster in the background! LOLOL SERIOUSLY! I know I kill my sister with these observations, but Roosters are EVERYWHERE! :D If you ever notice, and without my brilliant powers of observation I think it will be hard ;) , but on movie sets and commercials there is usually always a Rooster statue somewhere in the background. We have DVR so I will literally rewind the movie or commercial and off handedly ask my sister... "Puni, did you see that?" and she's like, "What?" So she will focus with me on the replay and I will say, "What's that in the background?" Heh heh heh. ;) And then she see's that awesome wonderful shape and knows... who the master of the bunny is! LOLOL "Silly rabbit!" Tricks are for Roosters! :) It's all in fun. We have a Rooster vs. rabbit rivalry onscreen and you guessed it... the Rooster is winning! LOLOL

3. I'm amazed. I really didn't think I would have much to say about myself, but somehow its all pouring out of me. LOLOL Let me see... My passion in life is making movies. I havent made one yet, but I have done television programs on our local community television channels. I actually worked for community television for about four years before resigning and changing jobs. I love production and my goal in life is to make at least one awesome movie. I can do it! Yes I can! :D

4. I resigned from my community television job that I loved to pursue another passion of mine which is linked to the first :D yes... I am very passionate! LOLOL I now work in the travel industry as a reservations agent for a major airline. Maybe you have talked to me? When making travel arrangements for your family or business? And yes I was that super agent that assisted your every need with a wonderful smile in my voice :D Yup yup yup! That is me! Super Agent! ;) Getting back to my other passion :) ... I love to travel. I wanted to see the world with my own two eyes. I didn't want someone else to define it for me. I know people don't do that on purpose, but every image we see whether it is in books, magazines, television, or on the movie screen, is someone elses perspective. I know I won't get to see the whole of the earth on my own, but the more of it I see the better and I think as a filmmaker that is important. It makes my own images authentic to who I am and what I feel.

5. So serious yeah? :D That is another Rooster characteristic of mine. I actually like being serious. I can laugh and joke, but when I need to be, I can be serious. The serious side of me helps me to be focused and zoom in on my goals.

6. I am grateful. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who sent his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to atone for my sins. I am thankful to my elder brother Jesus for his atonement so that I can someday return home to our Father. I am thankful for the Holy Ghost who ever guides and directs me to do what is right. And I am so thankful for my wonderful family here on earth, who love support cherish and protect me in all that I do.

I cannot believe that I thought I would have trouble listing 6 random things about myself. :) I actually enjoyed this little exercise! I now choose ;) to tag LOLOL... Liz and Amanda.

P.S. I went to tell Liz she is tagged and I ran into Leslie. Leslie you are tagged too! LOLOL Yee Haw! I am beating the odds already and its only been seconds since I posted this! I feel GOOD!

I also tag Debbie! Yea Debbie! I forgot I knew you as a blogger because I was unable to follow your blog. (it's only been a few minutes and the odds are now stacked in my favor! ;) )

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Where is a cop when you need one? :D

A couple of nights ago my sister and I were driving home from work and talking about how our evening had gone. As we passed Haiku Rd I saw a cop waiting on traffic as if he would be following in our direction. We stopped at the red light right after the Temple Valley intersection and seconds later we were rear ended. Our conversation stopped mid sentence and I looked up to see that the light was still red. My sister and I looked at each other like, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe we just got hit!" I'm thinking, "I hope that cop I saw is nearby," and I was also hoping nothing was wrong with the car.

With nothing else to do we both jumped out of the car to find that we were rear ended by that same police car I had seen on Haiku Rd.... bad brakes. The officer had gone back to his car for paper to give us his information. I saw a license plate lying on the road and reached down to pick it up and the officer is like... "Oh, uh, that's mine." He proceeds to ask if anything is wrong with our car, and of course I hem and haw and point out a couple of "small kine" scratches :D then he asks if either one of us is hurt and I'm like reaching for my neck like I had been whip lashed :D I thought it was really funny that we had been rear ended by a police officer, and I was just trying to joke with the officer to make him feel at ease. I also thought it was funny that he didn't give himself a ticket :D

Thankfully we were fine, able to drive off on our own, and outwardly the vehicle is fine too. We still need to take it in for servicing and at that time we can see if anything was really thrown out of whack.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloweenie!!! :)

Just got home from work and had a good time enjoying my coworkers' Halloween spirit.

Hours later.... :)

Halloween is one of my most favorite holidays. Although it is not an officially observed holiday, it still ranks up there with the big ones... Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, and the 4th of July. It is such a fun time, where for one day, each of us is an actor or actress. We get to dress up and explore some part of who we are whether it be our feminine, masculine, comedic, or dramatic side. We get to pretend for a few hours to be someone other than our normal selves and not only do we believe it, but our family, friends, and coworkers, for a moment suspend their beliefs and believe it too. :)

I did not explore any other side of me this Halloween :) but many of my coworkers did and I fully enjoyed their wonderful Halloween spirit. It was fun to believe along with them and enjoy the hard work and effort they each put into their costumes.